Newsflash! Bartolo Colón is Fat!

That's right. It seems the oft-injured righty is overweight. Everyone's reporting it. You can read about it here, here, here, here and here. Just one question: when was this guy ever mistaken for a Domincan Ron Guidry? Sure, Bartolo's fat. But that's not news, folks. Colón was a fat rookie who became a fat ace who became a fat injured has-been with a shot at redemption. But even if he overcomes adversity and reclaims his status as the devastating power pitcher who won a Cy in '05, he'll still be fat.

In other baseball revelations, Tom Verducci is snarkily reporting that apart from Mr. Colón, almost every other player in baseball is claiming to be "in the best shape of my life."